BAGGAGE CLAIM (in Ghost Town)

Have you ever heard people say that you go through life carrying your cross or your own baggage? That weight, whether necessary or unnecessary that we have to deal with, sometimes slows us down or contains the actual tools to help us move forward. 

In relationships we carry all that baggage and depending on what we have had to deal with previous romantic partners, there may be excessive weight that we may have to remove to make space for new things.  

So here’s the story about Ghost Town and the baggage that comes with this story. In my head, people who would rather ghost their partners instead of communicating or being accountable for their wrongdoings come from that imaginary place. Imagine dating someone so inconsiderate, who feels like your time is not valuable enough for them to let you know when they cannot show up after making plans. Annoying and humiliating right? You get ready, wear something fancy for your dinner only for them to cancel on you last minute or worse, they don’t take the time to notify you and don’t hear from them for a couple of days? Did that ever happen to you? How did you feel? If it never happened to you, how would you feel? How would you deal with it? When the Ghost crawls back up from his dark hole and you try to have a decent conversation with them about their behavior, they tend to play the victim… They will blame others, invent stories but somehow it’s never their fault… no, no and no. In very few cases that such behavior is excusable, such as an accident, stolen phone, etc. but rarely are these the cause. Once already is unacceptable and if you don’t say anything, then a person with bad intentions or a pathological liar will keep taking advantage of you. ”You give a hand, they take the whole arm”. I say this because I have a friend named BELLA who has dealt with such a person that I shall name GHOST. Bella doesn’t tolerate conflict or confrontation and for the longest time until recently, she has kept a whole lot of things to herself because it was easier that way – but what is easy doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good. It kept happening, she was boiling inside and got mad every time but didn’t say anything. Then, one day she exploded and the Ghost played the victim once again… But thankfully Bella was able to get rid of that Ghost for good – out of sight, out of mind. Her only mistake was not putting her foot down the first time it happened so that the Ghost would either have to back off right there and then or make an effort to show up.

All those times that she felt humiliated and let down made it harder for her to tear down that internal wall and let people in. It’s a baggage she carries into every new relationship and it is not her new partner’s job to make her feel secure or heal her. He also has his own baggage which may or may not be as heavy as hers. I’m not saying he cannot help, but the healing starts with her. Remembering that she should not overgeneralize or gunnysack, her new partner will not be able to understand her if she doesn’t let him in a little. It all starts with communication, talking about her fears and needs. Allowing herself to become vulnerable to find healing, tearing down her wall brick by brick to allow the light in. All that trauma from Ghost town that she carries has to be removed to make space for what is light and good; using them as lessons to do better and continue moving forward. So darling, CLAIM YOUR BAGGAGE but don’t remain stagnant, remove the excess weight and step forward, better days are ahead!!!

As much as I’d love to give you more details about Ghost Town, I will stop here for now, you know what time it is …

I’m always hungry, so I’ll go sip some wine and cook tonight. Cheers

Until then, BE KIND!

HarryElle